Drifting off to the aquatic, gurgling sounds of the buzzing dishwasher,

there is a lot to unpack,,,,

a lot to remember,,,,

Ignoring the wet floor signs,

I’m talking, walking right by it,, without a thought.

I’m taller than this, bigger than that.

Strung up with moderation, worried that you wont understand the sport,

and hung up on dreams,,,,

Cant understand the sport , or even see the ball clearly .

cant understand why the dreams come and go,

cant understand why you’d start a sentence that way.

Despite the volume and the density of the playbook, and not being able to see the ball clearly.

Despite not being able to reach the smoke detector that desperately needs batteries,

despite having never being able to detect carbon monoxide in the first place,

You choose how you descend , and in which fashion,

its always all about the volume ,,,,,,

or the ball or your feet,

or the dead and dying batteries

or the tasteless, odorless winter,

either way,,,,

I am not sure what makes it good,

or if it is, or will be or

has been, already.

or why I like reading it back, sometimes

and it doesn’t make sense other times,

or why we spend the time, in kingdoms.

Were better off keeping it all, keeping everything outside, in kingdoms.

With the creeping black dread that if your not careful you’ll slip on

and the creeping clack clouds that if your not careful you’ll slip on

never being able to sit still,

and always changing my tune,,

to match the colors behind me,

getting my hopes up,

to match the colors behind me.

The fleeting thoughts, they bleed through, and remain permemant,

visible on my hands days and days later.

We keep all of that outside,

with the dogs who are relatively unknown ,

with that one light that is always out,

and the sweetest songs and the winds and dial tones,

they are sold out, outside too.

Legs and feet finding new ways to move faster

under water

as I learn how to swim, to consistently dream.

My feet Dropping harder onto the pavement and onto the base paths,

darting quicker

between dusty shadows and

the murky runoff.

Where either ends up isn’t important, so long as they are buoyant;

The comparisons,

the lists,

the confidence ,

All of it running wild now,

obscured by blood red stop sign,

and a beating heart.

You can tell I am a fan,

you can tell I am running wild,

even if we’ve seen this episode before.

Making me quite again

back into a shell, but my arms are still exposed.

We’ll try and think of a title when we are closer to the end

when we get more ammunition.

one that will awaken me , catch me in its web,

one that will drive someone crazy.

It’s midnight again ,

over and over,

it was yesterday and today and tomorrow, too.

All that peeling wallpaper,

midnight over me,

wrapped around me,

( Saturday is over now)

Gigabytes over me,

awakening the quiet,

and I am digital forever,

a lingering soul, hung up on Wednesday.

The landing, the night; just right.

Thriving on mistakes and our heels that hurt from mostly our retreat,

from backpedaling, away from the ordinary.

away from all the pivoting, and the dancing, and the sword fights,

but were I’m thankful we got this far.

In these clothes,

breathing these breaths

with these teeth,

drooling all the way through,

past the end credits even,

with those stab wounds.

Despite the spaces and all it took to get here.

Sifting though rib cages and right angles all to drive ourselves to the right answer,

buried into the sand next to my head ,

wishing I could breathe in the smell of the cut grass,

despite not having an end, or a head or even grass to cut.

despite not having a tail, at all,

despite not having a head tail, the entire time.

Up and under,

indecipherable, but at the same time,

We don’t know what’s been said

but we still pass the dragons. ,

and speculate.

My watch is probably fast.

The ones right off the rack,

the ones I set aside,

but that they

they are not.

the ones right off the rack, that is.

the ones I set aside.

The writhe with guilt, but they make my heart throb.

like me ,

like always,

always late,

up and

under.

Privy to all the snakebites and other on-goings that will catch your foot if you step off the sidewalk,

even for a second.

Completely unsure where the hyphens go, or how fast lightspeed is,

but we are aware of the snakes and their fears too.

Cords that look just like them,

frayed fiber optic cables,

They came in yellows and reds and some have prongs, and some are even venomous too.

JUST LIKE THEM

The sign reads,,,,

DO NOT DIG

is all the snakes see, and what’s before them,

and what is under the arm of the passerby.

The missed calls are stuck to our shoes,

and the stray pings that rattle off cell towers and other miscellaneous pylons,

The ones howl at the moon.

Like the snakes, I want to work on rolling my tongue back up into my mouth,

So that it wont touch the ground, or the snakes.

and tying my shoes, tying my snakes.

so that I wont feel any other way, besides what the sign says,

DO NOT DIG.

There are two things we got right.

There is one tripwire we stepped over, and the other tripwire we stepped right over,

completely over,

and still we fell in.

and with it?

everything else,

to be exact.

but we still got it right.

I am the one left looking up holding both of my broken ankles, and my breath.

My equilibrium and all the others are still intact;

The balance beam is too far way to know for sure.

Still being taken advantage down here, and still bleeding,

still spun off my axis

still down to the bone, still hiding down here.

We closed the door,

perfectly,

in harmony

and we all knew it.

The crowd knew it too. they always did.

Not in a sad typical way,

like the movies,

but instead

from A GLASS CASE FROM FAR AWAY

dancing outside,

a prospect that we didn’t know was in reach.

because it keeps coming, like the rain.

That basin, and your lucky we got this far

but it catches it all,

I get it now, the charity, the step back everyone has to take.

but mostly me, alwAYs.

all that advice,

all that snow,

That is the formula, forbade from me, who are you?

and everyone else you got to know when to subdue the harmony,

not sure what what column were in

but well scramble to get there.

This is coming all at once.

roman numerals or hot baths or times new romans or

none of the above.

Helsinki but still likely to live forever, despite the anottions or the dayh of the week

or what time it was,

and still legible and likely to live forever ,

even if don’t believe in it, or see it

your still the godfather; your still bravery, incarnate .

‘ll quit when I’m ahead///

sneak up on me,

opened up, foaming at the mouth.

spilt on the couch,

foaming at the mouth,

falling asleep in the spill,

and waking up wet.

Running out of things to say and things to spill

or spell.

Keeping score,

Keeping dry,

but everything is drenched now.

We are all too much for this, still foaming at the mouth ,

at this moment, in the beginning.//

That intro that we always look forward to.

the windchimes,

those chords.

We are much louder than either of those.

Purge whatever is left inside,

the errors, fuck it just get it all out.

whatever I didn’t spell, or regurgitate ,

or turn up , or meddle,

or mettle

and pretend I understand the difference.